The Real Reason You Are Stuck In A Rut (Trust Us... WE Would Know!)

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What's It About...

Is personal development a priority for you?

 

I mean, is it REALLY a priority for you?

 

The definition of Wikipedia is…

 

Personal development covers activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance the quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations. 

 

Personal development takes place over the course of a person's entire life.

 

It’s not a quick fix.

 

It’s not a single book.

 

It’s not one conference.

 

It’s not one workout or meditation session.

It's the constant pursuit of a better version of yourself. 

 

This is one of our favorite subjects and we are going to be diving deep into it on this episode.

 

If you’ve ever wondered...

 

• What is personal development?
• What’s the best way to start your personal development? 
• What resources you can count on for free? 
• What should you avoid?

 

… we got you!

 

Whether you are feeling stuck in a routine and you’ve ran out of answers of what to do, you need some inspiration to put you back into motion, you want to change your whole life plan from the beginning, or you just want to level up your life - that’s what personal development is good for.

 

Helping you trace the path to find those answers, getting to know yourself better, and helping you develop a greater strategy to find real fulfillment in your life.   

 

Tune in and learn all the tips and tricks about personal development that we gathered for you in this episode. 

 

Want to find a specific topic? 

• Breaking down some misconceptions about personal development (00:30)
• The inconveniences of feeling stuck in your routine (05:39)
• A super important sidenote about growing as a couple (11:53)
• Finding the answers to our stuckness thanks to Youtube’s algorithm (15:52)
• Adding the mental strategies needed to get through most things in life (20:57)
• Tips and recommendations to begging your personal development (24:18) 

 

Where To Learn More...

• PUSH Community Facebook Group
• Janelle's website
• Rich Dad, Poor Dad
• The Millionaire Next Door

 

Episode Transcript...

Disclaimer: The Transcript Is Auto-Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

 

Janelle & Eddie:

Hey Edward Copeland. Yes. How are you today? I'm so good. I want to talk to you about something that I think is going to open the floodgates and you're not going to want to shut up about. Okay. Ready? When you're green, you grow. When you're ripe, you rot.

 

Eddie:

Ooh. When we felt like our peach SF, it makes me feel like a plum. I think I'm a rotten peach and that's what we want to talk to you guys about today is like are you the rotten peach or the sour plum? Yeah. Are you filling stuck and we're going to share some insights to talk to you about how and when and why personal development, which is kind of like a, can we just say, why do people have a problem with personal development? Like I think that they know they have a problem with it. I think they don't know about it. Well, I definitely think that there's a part in, we'll talk about that where we have, this was an entire world. But I also think that there are people that have tremendous success that think personal development is a waste of time. Like some woo shit. Yeah. It has some woo stuff. Like when, when people think that all you do is sit there and meditate or read books. Yeah. Like I'm going to make it, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it. And I think that that's where people kind of go, ah Nah. Yeah, that's not for me.

 

Janelle:
So we're going to take it back today to a painful time in our life where we felt like rotten peaches and sour plums and all. We're going to teach you guys how we're going to talk to you actually about how and why this became an important topic for us. So buckle up, let's go. Let's go. So today we're going to talk about personal development, which is kind of a buzz category. But I would just tell you, a lot of our friends don't really speak the language of personal development. And the 2014 Eddie and Janelle Copeland did not speak the language of

 

Eddie:

personal development. No. And you know what's interesting is that you may think, Oh, if you didn't speak the language of personal development for those who know about personal development and you're like, Oh, well you must not have been striving for things or alive or breathing. But I think that it was something that we just never paid us into too. We never stopped at the personal development books section of the bookstore and said, this is my section.

 

Janelle:

Well, I didn't know it existed. Right. But we were consuming tons of information about becoming better leaders and leading teams and being parents and all of the things that were important to us. But I would say around 2014 2015 I mean, God, how old were we? We were definitely thirties yes, thirties like younger to mid-thirties right. And, and we would later realize that this becomes like a scientific thing. Thanks to Dr. Alan Watkins, a Ted talk that I saw or listened to and watched, right? So we talk about like quarter-life crisis or a midlife crisis, but we don't know what they're actually real. Right? And what happens is, is you get to a point in your life where you're going to work every day. You're taking care of the kids, you're coming home to the same person every day. If you're married, you're kind of going through life's motions, day in, day out doing what you're supposed to, and then you just wake up one day and say, is this all there is to life? Right?

 

Eddie:

Yeah. And I think people have this in different parts of their lives, depending on what they're going after and what they're doing. But for us, it was definitely in the, in our thirties where you will find that, Hey, we have always been a couple that strived and tried to build our careers, but,

 

Janelle:
or make more money or buy nicer things.

 

Eddie:

Two things. But I think when it came down to like what to do next in life, there were a lot of complacencies. I would say for me, complacency of kind of the day in and day out routines and thinking that you were striving, thinking that you were going for more, but really you're kind of just in a rut.

 

Janelle:

Yeah. And that's the only thing you can really call it. So Dr Allen walk-in says that you're kind of like on a road and you're going and you're going and you're going and then at some point you come to a crossroads and you say, okay, I can't continue to go on this way, so I've got to stop. I'm either going to go left, which is a bunch of bad shit. So you start to have an affair, you start to do drugs. Maybe there's a shopping addiction, maybe there's other addictions that come along with that. And you're just like trying to seek fulfillment in all the wrong places. Right.

 

Eddie:

And I think it's what people, what happens is people get confused. They don't know what it is. We talk about that a little bit when we talk about like not having clarity when we talked about in the first kind of episode where you're in this place where you go, I don't know what to do if something is unsettling, I don't know what to do next. And so those things that you know just talked about ended up being the things you go after because you don't know what to do next. Well, you're seeking fulfillment. Yeah. You're seeking that missing gap.

 

Janelle:

So then the other alternative is you go to the right, the right is when people in their early to mid-thirties sometimes it hits you when you're 40 that quarter-life crisis, which is what we call it, but you go to the right and that is God, what kind of book do I need to freaking read to get out of this rut or dang, a friend invited me to church and I don't really believe necessarily in church, but let me go. Or what is this whole meditation thing people keep talking about? So that's when you make a Swift turn to the right and you're just like, okay, what I'm doing right now isn't working, but I know if I go left, it's not the right thing. Right. But if I go right, like this is all stuff I'm inexperienced with and that's what we want to talk to you about today.

 

Janelle:

Like we came to a crossroads around 2014-2015 were quite frankly for me, I was like in the bakery, I had reached the capacity based on the fact that I learned everything I could to get to that point. Right? And so I drove my sales, I drove my business, I had a staff and that was all great. But I ran out of ideas because if I had him, I would just execute him. I was like a high achiever. I was trying to be a good mom, trying to be a good wife. But then it's like, really? Is there like, do I have to read a book on this? It's just like, okay, I'm doing the same things over and over. And I felt very stuck. Right. So at that time you were working for 24-hour fitness and you felt stuck too, right?

 

Eddie:
Yeah, it felt stuck. I mean I had, we had both really like the gotten shape and I know that fitness became a big part of my life at that time. And I started to, you go to a new place and this is right after the crash of our old corporate job and you go to a new place and you're excited to learn this new in industry and it's got all these new things that you're like, Oh my God, this is, this is so cool. And then when you're there for quite some time, all of a sudden like you feel like, wow, okay, I've, I've maxed out, I've had a sense of mastery, but there's something kind of missing. And then you don't know what to focus on. So a lot of times you don't focus on anything. And that was what me for me, what was the dang thing? I was not focusing on the, our house, I wasn't focusing on our marriage, I wasn't focusing on the kids. And then I was like going to work. And just trying to, trying to make it that day. And I think that you don't strive and you don't have other ideas that help you want to climb the ladder so to speak.

 

Janelle:

You know what this is called doing the best you can. Seriously like that's what it like I was going to work every day running my business. You are going to work every day. We were coming home and we were just doing the best we could. And that's where things started to kind of shift. Right? We heard her speaker Anthony Trucks and he said Aw Shift.

 

Eddie:

Oh yeah. And that's when you really need

 

Janelle:
do you need a shift? And so for us it became like, I remember watching Eddie like he had got a Bible for Christmas and I was like, why did he get a Bible? Like well just so you know, we'll do another episode on religion. Cause I hope to one day have our pastors as guest speakers on the podcast, just to give you a different perspective whether you believe in God or not. But so I remember we believed in God always. We always prayed. But like when we had Jordan, people asked, are you going to have her baptized? And I thought, well, no, I'm not even a practicing Catholic like that. So it's just like, I feel like a hypocrite, right? So we started learning about other religions. We learned about Buddhism, about Judaism, about Christianity, about so many different religions. And we realized that they had a lot of the same things in common, which were a freaking good person, be kind do right by others.

 

Janelle:

And so I have this tattoo on my left arm that symbolizes lots of different religions. But where we stood with our belief together as a unit was we want our kids to be able to find religion on their own. Because it's true that if they were born in another country, they might be Muslim, right? Why? Because we raise them to be Muslim. So we wanted to be that family that educated our kids on lots of different religions. So we would go to church on holidays and we would do the things that we found a great Christian Church down the street from our house. We liked it, but we didn't necessarily believe in organized religion, right? Because we didn't believe in tithing and we didn't. We thought the church was like greedy and they were taking their money

 

Eddie:
when I was a kid when I would go to church, cause we always went to either a really big church or when I was really young, I went to a Baptist church, but like the preacher was balling and I just remembered like a helicopter flying by us, my Mazda. Oh, I, my preacher fluid in the helicopter. I was like, Oh my God. Um, but at that time, and I think everyone who's listening to this, you've all, well, no matter what your faith is, you've gone through a phase where you’re challenged, which you have been taught to believe you, right? And you, whether it be organized religion or whatever the thought process that your parents passed on, you'd end up challenging that. And I think we challenged that for a really long time around this organized religion. And, and then also like what it was meaning for your life, what it was doing for your life, especially if the pastor has a helicopter and a Rolls Royce and you're driving in a Pinto, you know, whatever the case may be, what does it pink does it afford out.

 

Eddie:

But I had challenged that for a long time. I didn't lose the faith in God, but I did lose the faith and, and direction of what it meant to have a strong faith and a presence in your life. And so I didn't believe in organized religion Yeah, we didn't live in. So I will just say, I remember speaking about being stuck. I remember driving to work on the same road that I took every single day to the same place and just feeling like what's missing? And I remember like quite honestly being emotional driving to work, knowing that there was something missing in my life and I did not know what it was. And so like it was interesting when we were talking about this. I look and I look at some of the books I was like downloading at the time. And I downloaded a book around Buddhism, I downloaded the Coran, I downloaded another Bible and me, I was looking for something. I knew it was beyond myself.

 

Janelle:
Well, that's when you know, your life is jacked up cause you're just like, I'm just going to go all-in on religion could save me. Right. So what happened was, um, our brother-in-law Tony, he got a Bible for Eddie for Christmas and it was engraved with your name and had all this fancy stuff. And I was like, why would he get him a Bible? Right. But you know, they always say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And so this was months later and you know, we'd been kind of figuring out, we were just stuck in a rout as a couple, as a household. And we were doing fine though on the outside I think is the key here. And then, but it was just this lack of fulfilment. But anyway, I would see Eddie get up in the morning and I would see him like sneak the bathroom.

 

Janelle:

You know the thing when guys do every morning and I'm like, is this guy taking a Bible into the bathroom? And I just remember I let a couple of days go by and then the type of people we are, we're very, I don't know if it's competitive or what, but I was like, Hey, what are you doing with the Bible? And he's like, well I just, you know, I just wanted to start reading it and I said, well what are you doing here? Cause if you're doing this and you do this without me, this is going to cause a lot of problems in our relationship. So like if you're growing in a direction, I need to know about it. Yeah. And it was just a funny conversation, but that's exactly what happened. Right? It was almost like I stopped him in the hallway and I was like, what are you doing here?

 

Janelle:

Like what, what's going on with this Bible thing? And I wasn't upset. I was just like our whole lives, our whole marriage. It had been like if we're growing, we're growing together and if one of us grows and the other doesn't, then our marriage is doomed. So this isn't even about marriage today, but I will tell you that is probably one of our key points on how to keep your marriage alive and thriving is like you've got to grow together. There are so many things in life that could pull you to grow in different directions. And if you want to pursue something that's great, but do the best you can to inspire your spouse to come along with you for the journey. Because let me tell you if he would have started like reciting Bible verses and stuff and I'm like still on the page of, Hey, I thought we don't believe in organized religion, right?

 

Janelle:

We would've went, that had been all bad for the Copelands, right? So he said, I don't know. I just feel like I'm missing something. And I was like, I do too. I just feel so stuck. And I remember we had this really deep conversation about like I was frustrated with a bakery and I said, I ran out of questions to ask. Like if someone said, what do you need help with? I don't even effing know what I need help with. I don't even know what questions to ask anymore. And that was powerful, right when I shared that with you. So to our listeners, I just want to ask you, do you feel stuck and you don't even know what questions to ask, right? Because we know what that feels like. So then he goes, what if we just go to church on Sunday? And I was like, yeah, but it's not Christmas.

 

Janelle:

Okay, let's go. Let's just go. So I remember we went, just the two of us went and we were never those people that really got into worship and lots when everyone's singing and they have their hands up. And I always would watch people put their hands up and just like I would be in awe like wow, they're really filling this. Like that looks like it feels really good. But we would just go and kind of like be in the motions. Now I realized like I, I'm like, I'm not here to be entertained. I'm here to get something from this. So you've got to be a part of the experience and participate. Right. So I remember the pastor comes up and he's like, today we're gonna talk about being stuck. Some of you are stuck in your marriage and some of you are stuck in a relationship and some of you are stuck with work and some of, and we just both sobbing. Do you remember? Yeah, I mean we're like holding each other's hands and we're like, I think he's only speaking to us. How did he know that we weren't going to see no. And so then we went back the next week because it was like, man, that felt so good and we had this amazing conversation.

 

Eddie:

Now mind you really quick, we're not trying to come up.

 

Janelle:

No, no, no, no, no. This podcast is not about religion. This is just a part of the story. Yeah. So then it became, okay, well that was fun, but I don't want to wait until next Sunday, so what can I do to get this feeling right? And it was not about church. It's like our church that we go to is not necessarily about a ton of different Bible verses. It's about becoming a better version of you. And I think that that was something that we just had never really tried on. Right.

 

Eddie:

And then, so then like I remember like continuously feeling like, okay, I want that feeling. I want to like understand what, what is it that I'm missing? And I just started going down the rabbit hole. Personal development.

 

Janelle:

But you didn't know really that that's what it was.

 

Eddie:

No, that was, I just think the Jesus for YouTube, right? Yeah, because, and I'm trying to, I have a free version of YouTube. The free version of Youtube. Yeah. And so I'm trying to remember exactly what it was, but I know it was Les Brown and I know that he was doing some talk and I listened to like the whole thing. And I was just like, I think I was probably extremely emotional listening to yeah, I was moved and I was just like this, what is this?

 

Janelle:

Yeah. And he was like, babe, you gotta listen to this one, text it to me. And I'm like, okay, put it on. So I'm the guy in person like I hear something and I immediately, I'm like stopping what I'm doing, pausing it, looking for my notebook. I have literally no book after notebook, after notebook of quotes that Les Brown said that had me in tears. And then Les Brown would talk about his mentor and I'm like sitting there waiting, waiting, waiting for him to say it. And then you're like, boom, I got the name right. And then you go and you start bingeing on that person. For me, at the time I started with Ted talks like if you guys don't listen to Ted talks, you've got to start there. There is a Ted talk for dealing with the loss of a loved one that changed my mind two years ago when one of my dear friends passed away.

 

Janelle:
I knew how to cope with the loss of him better because of a Ted talk. Right. There was a Ted talk I listened to you about the woman that her leg blew off in the Boston marathon and she was talking about coping and that sort of thing. That changed my life too. I could go on and on about Ted talks cause that was like in my YouTube feed and again, when the student is ready, the teacher appears because you guys, I cannot tell you how many times we would be so excited to come home at the end of the day and talk and share and tell each other like, Oh my God, I listened to this and how many times baby did it happen where it was like I listened. Oh my God, I listen to the same one. So then we're showing our phones. We're comparing,

 

Eddie:
well let me tell you guys, I'm going to tell you guys when you are stuck like that and then you get on this rhythm. When you're sharing, we would send via text message, different YouTube videos and then like without talking about it, like to have listened to the same exact theme that same, that same day. It's an emotional thing. Like it was like a, Oh my,

 

Janelle:
well for me I felt like the universe was speaking directly to us and through us. Like why did this both, like I'm sure it was an algorithm, but how in the world did it wind up at the top of both of our playlists on YouTube? Right.

 

Eddie:

But also what was crazy was we would compare notes and we would have different notes and that was really powerful because that stimulated conversation and the different perspectives, just like we would have when we would go to church and we would walk out and I would say at that part really hit me like, Aw man, that was the part I was like, Oh, okay. And then hearing you say it differently now I, I get it. And so it's a magical thing. So I will tell you, if you're out there right now and you're struggling in any relationship, whether it be your relationship with their kids, relationship with their spouse, relationship with work, relationship with yourself. Like when you get on that path and you start to really discover things, ideas, different strategies as thinking. And I, and I remember like going from Les Brown to 1380 the hip hop preacher. And I was stuck on that for a long time. And then Earl Nightingale was like, I went through probably, he has probably, I don't know, a hundred thousand hours

 

Janelle:

tell you, Earl Nightingale, when you first introduced me to him, I was like, this is the most boring white man I've ever heard in my life and that guy will change your life. Oh my God, these are things that were written and said in what? The sixties the fifties and so then we started looking at each other and we're like, why don't our parents know about this? That was a big aha moment for us. And so we're like, do you know how blessed we are to live in 2015 or 14 with YouTube and cell phones and headphones and just you can literally get, get smart for free. And at the time these amazing speakers, Jim Roan and all of these great speakers, they were hosting conferences that let's be real people like our parents would have never had access to, right? If you grew up like in a really modest neighbourhood where things were just really tough financially, your parents were doing the best that they could with what they had.

 

Janelle:

And if they didn't have money and they didn't grow up around doctors and lawyers and people that were attending growth conferences, then there would've been no way that they would have ever found and discovered this. So then we felt bad for our parents. I was like, damn, they missed out on all of this. Right? And here we are just like soaking in all this information from all these old people. And these have become like principles and practices now for our lives. So that's really what we wanted to share with you was like if you're feeling stuck, then it's like nature's way of giving you a sign that there's something better for you. And I think when you feel stuck and then really bad stuff starts to happen, that's when you really got to look in the mirror and say, okay, what I'm doing is not working, so let me just try something different on for size.

 

Eddie:

Yeah. And I gotta tell you like I think some people will be listening to this and they say, are you just talking about like positive speakers or are you talking about, and I will tell you that the one thing that personal development has done for me is it's given me mental strategies to get through most things. And also for, especially for the guys that, that they're out there that are struggling with how to articulate how you feel. Like one of the things that I have learned is that the words that that I have learned that I've read have given me a different voice to say, okay, I know how to explain myself. I know how to, to communicate with my wife a little bit better on how I actually feel about something. And I think, yeah, how I can articulate it. And then when you have something, and I, and I'll say this, it codifies your life like some things we were doing intuitively that, Oh wow, this is will be I did many years ago. I didn't realize I was doing this. But it would allow you to do is it gives you a game plan on how you can do it again to overcome this new challenge in a different way.

 

Janelle:

Right? Yeah. So for me, I think it gives me a strategy to go from point a to point B. Right? And also the inspiration or the motivation to know that there's something bigger. And also I'm not the only dumb ass in the world that like felt stuck. There's a whole entire world and community out there that also needs the same thing that I needed. Right. So I think it's very important to say like when you feel like you're stuck in a rout and you feel like your problems are insurmountable and you feel like you're doing things alone, a human reaction is to retreat and just kind of convince yourself that this is just all there is. And so we realized that there were lots of people out there that thought the same thing that we thought and then we realized that there were strategies.

 

Eddie:

There are people that right now that are listening to this that are highly educated and I will tell you the formal education that most people get, like it doesn't cover the emotional intelligence part. It doesn't cover the mental strategies that you need for yourself. So you may have the education to achieve whatever you want to achieve in your career. But I will tell you that we have been high achievers in our careers as well, and it still, we still find ourselves stuck.

 

Janelle:

There is no college that's going to really sit down and have a course on self-awareness like, okay, well let's look at your problems Eddie and let's see what is the common denominator of all of your life's unwanted problems and challenges. It's your buddy. Like that's really what I've learned from personal development. Like I am the common denominator, which means I am the problem, right? Which means that if I change the way that I do things, then the things will change, right? So it's not so much that you always have to change the things around you. A lot of things in our life, let's be real. We can't control, but if I changed the way I look at them, I changed my perception of them. I changed the way I show up and participate in those situations. They change. Right.

 

Eddie:

Would you say that there is like a particular talk or a particular book that was just like changed everything for you so that these listeners that are like, what are they? Which, which book did you read? Cause I know that's high. Yeah,

 

Janelle:

I'm going to have to pause it and go through the, you know, hundreds of books in the bookshelf because I feel like there are so many. I mean, I honestly off the top of my head, I can't, but I can tell you like if you need some motivation today, go to on YouTube. But yeah, here's one on YouTube. Look up Earl Nightingale, The Strangest Secret. He drops. Okay. I'm just gonna warn you. He's very boring. Like his, I love him and I love his voice now, but if I'm like, Oh man, Eddie and Janelle, they're cool. You know, the hype me up and then you get there, you're like, let me talk to you about those strangest secret. Yeah. That you're going to be like, I'm never listening to this podcast again, but I promise you the strangest secret is 40 minutes and the first one's 20 minutes.

 

Janelle:

And it's statistics. Like if you take a hundred men and you ask any one of these young men, and they mean women too. I just, I make myself a young man or woman. He did this in like the fifties so we didn't really have a voice, but I know he was talking to me. Definitely. So he says 65 or 100% of them are going to say that without a doubt they're going to grow up to be successful. But then he gives you the stats and then at 65 most of them don't have a pot to piss in.

 

Eddie:

Five or 5% would actually achieve what they want to achieve. Right?

 

Janelle:

So why is that? So he gets into the science of that and like how you're showing up and how you're just like, what are you doing with your life and where did you lose your focus? And most often it's been because life has knocked you down, you've had challenges and you just didn't have the resiliency to get back up and keep fighting for the dream that at one point you wanted. Right. And so I guess to sum it up, personal development is about leaning into like discovering new talents, discovering more about your potentials, discovering if you're not making enough money and you're unhappy with that. You can discover how to increase your chances of employability. Yeah,

 

Eddie:

and if I would just to add to that, to me, personal development teaches you how to think. Like we go to school. No, we go to school and we learn what to think about what the answer is, what to study, but actually how, think about things like how should I approach this? What is the right mental strategy? I should approach this trauma in my life. Just this moment of being stuck or whatever the case may be. But how you think is so important because if you learn how to think about things than what you think about to Janelle's point changes, right? If I, if I look at this and I say, how should I think about this, why should I be thinking about this? Like, okay, I'm the one with the issue. That's how the thought process, and I think that to me is we're a personal development. When you look at certain books or just one of the things that Earl Nightingale does is he teaches you how to think. He's like, he's not telling you what to think about. He's just saying this is how you challenge your brain and how to think because most people just don't think at all.

 

Janelle:

Yeah. And so I think that if you take our word for it and you start to Google some personal development stuff, the world is going to show you the universe will deliver exactly what you need. And I can't wait to hear about your journey because let me tell you, YouTube algorithm is something fierce and you will wake up tomorrow morning with some amazing content and your feed if you just take one step in the right direction. So lastly, I kind of want to tell you and just like I have four quick things that I jotted down really quick that personal development has kind of helped me with. And I would tell you one like following and modelling the behaviors of successful people has taught me that I am really resilient because we'll talk about like childhoods and trauma and another episode. But everybody that we love that we have followed has had some major traumatic childhood or upbringing or something.

 

Janelle:

And I've learned I'm not special shit. They got problems too, right? So if this guy or girl can pull themselves up, then I damn sure should be able to as well. But I need the right strategies and tools. So that's number one, like model successful people. Number two would be, you have to become so excited about learning. Like when you start to really see things unfold and new perspectives get dropped into your mind, you're like, why didn't I know this? 20 years ago I felt like someone was keeping it like, and that was a really fun part for us. That’s still happening to this day. We discover something and we're like, you know how many people knew about this? And we didn't. I feel like they have been withholding information, but it's really us, right? We just weren't exposing ourselves to the right people and the right lessons. And then like you've got to make time for it. Like personal development's not gonna find you. And so what did we do? We stopped watching TV. Yeah. I mean we'll talk in another episode about how I wanted a divorce in the first year of marriage because we worked for Best Buy. And Eddie thought that that meant that he got to play video games all the damn time. And that was not my idea of what a husband was supposed to do. Right. Oh my

 

Eddie:

God. No. Absolutely.

 

Janelle:

So you got to make time to learn. And then lastly, I think you gotta keep it fun, have some really great conversations. Talk about what you're learning with your partner, with your kids. I mean there were so many amazing things that we would here we learned about Peak and Pit, like asking your kids like what's the peak in the pit of your day? And we started doing that when they were little. Right? And they would get so excited and we would celebrate the pits, but we also would be able to have great conversations as a family. So,

 

Eddie:
and if I just the last cause I think that list is PR that I would agree with everything the, and I'll say this, the one book that I think was huge for me was outwitting the devil. Outwitting the devil was she showed me what it meant. Like what was society doing? Religious books. No, it is not religious. It's actually written by Napoleon Hill. It's not, yeah, who is not talked about a lot, but it talks about disturbances and like what the disturbances mean in your life and how we get caught on this, which I had at that time self-identify. I was hypnotically in his hypnotic rhythm and that's what he talks about in the book. But what you have to realize is you have to identify what you're going through so that you can think about it differently. And I think that that was a book that changed everything for me. And so if I would add anything to that list is identifying what you're going through and so that you can say, okay, I can put a name to this and I know what's going on in my life right now, but this is the change I need to make. And I know not to go back down that path. Yep.

 

Janelle:

Agree. Yeah. So we'll put a list of some of our favorite beginner things together, right? Yeah. So if you want that, you can head over to the blog Janellecopeland.com get a list of that. And then we really want to hear about your personal journey and we want to hear about your light bulb moments, like if you're feeling stuck in a rout and, okay, last thing, and then we'll go. We have friends that we want to talk about on this podcast. Can I just be real? Like before we flipped the on a switch to start recording, we were naming some of our friends that just resist personal development, right? And we're like, this person is highly educated and maybe, I don't know, 50 episodes in, we'll just be like dropping names. But for the second one I'm going to say no,

 

Eddie:

just say this. Can I just say this, I don't know. So often people tell me, they asked me and I, and I am not perfect, but people ask me, how are you so positive? How are you? So how do you have all this energy and all these different things, right? And I tell them, Oh well, you know, I really focus on my mindset. I really focus on these things, all the things I kind of learned through personal development. And in and out. They'll say, well what book are you reading? I'll give him a book and I will tell you for all your listeners we were going to put some things out there.

 

Janelle:

9.75% of the time, they don't listen to the damn book.

 

Eddie:

read it like I said, Hey did you get that book? Oh yeah, I just, I just, you know, I put it on my list and then I go, I'll check in with people cause I like taking note of that. If you asked me, I'm going to follow up. And so often people do not read it and I, and I go, well I wonder what they were like admiring about me to ask me what I was doing to be prepared for the day or whatever the case may be. And then I give them like, Hey, here's the answer to the test of like if you want to have a different mindset or if you want to ha if you want to have a different approach in life and they never read it and I go that's okay. Cause I'm pretty sure if I look back in my life,

 

Janelle:

do you know how many times somebody blessed you with the blessing? Yeah.

 

Eddie:

Or we ha how often do we have books that we already had that we never even read or it never resonated. This is boring.

 

Janelle:

I got a book when I was 19 years old that was given to me. It was The Millionaire Next Door. I didn’t care. Oh, it was Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And I was like, ah, I don't, I have a poor dad. I don't need this. I can't even relate to him. I literally never read it. Right. So fast forward, maybe 2014 or 15 I went to the bookstore cause I heard about it, bought the damn book, came home and I was like, Oh my God, I, ah, I remember who gave this to me. That has happened at least five times. There are five books on the shelf that were given to me a decade over a decade ago that I just wasn't ready for. So if you feel very much like, damn, what, where has this information been? It's been right in front of you, but my friend, you just weren't ready. So now we hope you're ready. We hope that you will embark on this journey with us, and that's kind of the point of The Push Podcast is like sharing these things that have helped enrich our lives to hopefully add value important to yours. So we wish you nothing but the best, and we hope that was a good daily push for you. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.