Let's talk about #PRIDE!🌈 (*WARNING: This might be A LOT for you!😳🌈)

Jun 06, 2019

With this month being #PrideMonth, I wanted to take the time to shed some light on what appears to be a “touchy subject” for some.

I have employed MANY gay employees over the past 15 years.

I have served and supported MANY gay couples over the past 10 years at The Cake Mamas.

I have attended and have been HONORED to have made some of my best friends from these experiences. I’ve had the privilege of attending their weddings (and making their cakes!), their anniversary parties, their birthday parties, and a host of other amazing life celebrations.

I’ve done this all while maintaining my Christian faith and maintaining my own personal relationship with God.

See, 50 years ago, you were either BLACK or WHITE.

But I wouldn't have fit in ANYWHERE 50 years ago...

I am Filipino, Hawaiian, Italian, French, Portuguese, a bunch of other things, and even a little Japanese. When I was growing up, I was too ethnic to be white, too Americanized to be cultured, and too light to be considered a minority.🤷🏼‍♀️

But I was the minority.

In high school I was sent to a school in a nearby town. My mom wanted me to go to a “better” school to get a "better education" than the local high schools in our neighborhood could offer. (I grew up in the hood. Mostly minorities, mostly underprivileged and underserved, blue-collar, hard-working people. She wanted better for me.)

On the first day at my new school (which was predominately White), I was instantly trying to see where I fit in. Again, I wasn’t "Black enough" for the African American Heritage Club to let me in, OR for the Black girls to be okay with me dating the star Black athlete of the school… But I definitely wasn’t "White enough" for the HOT, White Surf Club president to acknowledge me when we passed each other in the hallways either.

Fast forward a few decades past the "JUNGLE FEVER" times, and here I am, married to the most amazing man who happens to be BLACK, and a mother to the brightest, kindest, most intelligent, giving, MULTI-RACIAL daughters a mother could ask for.

You have NO IDEA the conversations I’ve had to have with my BLACK HUSBAND about being safe while driving home from work late at night or simply walking around in our neighborhood. Because of things like this: https://www.nytimes.com/video/us/100000005813009/stephon-clark-killed-police-sacramento.html

You have NO IDEA the conversations that I’ve had to have with my BLACK DAUGHTERS about people making sly-ass racist remarks about their curly hair, or the color of their skin, or the fact that they’re “white-washed” because they're SUPER SMART, high-achieving young women!

SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PRIDE MONTH AND THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

A LOT.

It’s about the fact that 50-65 short years ago, we discriminated against people for the color of their skin.

And now in 2019, we’re discriminated against people for THEIR PERSONAL PREFERENCE on who they want to love!

Recently, there was a heated conversation that took place in my BUSINESS COMMUNITY for small business owners about “refusing to serve CERTAIN customers, based on your personal, moral and religious beliefs”. You can join the Business Facebook Group here.

So, I put this quick video together to share the fact that if you are a representing a BUSINESS, who’s sole responsibility is to SERVE THE GENERAL PUBLIC, then GAYS are a part of the “GENERAL PUBLIC” too! (Watch it here!)

You DECIDING to say, “I serve the public, but NOT THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE”, is absolutely NO DIFFERENT than you putting up a huge sign like this in your front window:

So why am I telling you this???

Because I care.

I care about you ignorantly discriminating against an entire group of people simply because they choose a love interest YOU don’t approve of.

I care about the people being DISCRIMINATED AGAINST, because often times, people don't seek to understand the other person's point of view. I've been discriminated against, and my husband and my daughters have been discriminated against by people who have NO IDEA what it's like to be us.

I care about ACCEPTANCE. EVEN THOUGH, I may not share your same beliefs.

I care about INCLUSION because I have seen how hurtful EXCLUSION can be.

To put things in a different context, this is similar to when SEGREGATION was abolished 50-65 years ago… No one said YOU had to go out and MARRY A BLACK MAN/WOMAN. They simply said DISCRIMINATING against them and SEGREGATING based on color was wrong.

That’s what I’m hoping to impart onto you.
An alternate perspective.

I’m friends with MANY CHRISTIAN PASTORS.

I’m friends with MANY gay / lesbians.

I’m PRO-PERSONAL-CHOICE and always allow others to share their opinions and express their views/standpoints, and I always try to open-mindedly hear EVERYONE out.

BUT I AM NOT A SUPPORTER OF INEQUALITY or any form of EXCLUSION. EVER. PERIOD.

And as a business owner, as a customer, as a mother, as a wife, as a human, I thought it was important to ENCOURAGE YOU to be open to an alternate perspective. ****NOTICE I didn’t say “CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS”. I simply said to ENCOURAGE YOU to explore and maybe even UNDERSTAND an alternate perspective.

If you had a BLACK HUSBAND or BLACK CHILDREN, you would be a part of conversations that perhaps you get to avoid today...

If you had a GAY SON you would be fighting for acceptance and inclusion, which may not be something you consider fighting for today...

If you had a LESBIAN DAUGHTER who wanted to order a wedding cake, OR a birthday cake from a local community bakery who refused to serve her, you would be voicing your opinion about DISCRIMINATION, IF IT IMPACTED YOU or your loved ones and made them feel excluded...

You don’t have to “pick a team”, but you do get to open your mind up to the POSSIBILITY that your conversations would be different, IF YOU WERE DEALING WITH ANY OF THESE ISSUES PERSONALLY.

I’d love to RESPECTFULLY hear what your thoughts are.

RESPECTFULLY.

*If you’re looking to combat my perspective, please keep your negative comments/opinions to yourself.

But if you’re looking to UNDERSTAND that the young, little high-schooler IN YOU who may not have been fully accepted by the cool kids, or who may not have “FIT IN” or ever felt TRULY ACCEPTED, still deserves a seat at the table, then I’d love to hear from you!

As for me, ALL ARE WELCOME.

I thought long and hard about being so public with this, but quite frankly, on behalf of my staff, my friends and my family, I CHOOSE TO STAND FOR INCLUSION.