4 Tips To Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Tis' the season for IMPOSTER SYNDROME!

If you haven't experienced what this feels like yet- then I applaud you sis!

But if you have I'm gonna share four tips with you that you can do today or whenever those feelings arise that will help you push past this feeling and get back to the confident self you should be!  

In case you don't know what imposter syndrome is or how it feels lemme break it down for you here:

Imposter syndrome is the feeling or idea that you're not good enough despite the successes and milestones you've achieved.

To keep it simple, you feel like a fraud. Despite all the things you've accomplished whether that's education, in your career, or your experiences- there is apart of you that still feels not good enough and deserving of the things you've received.

Fun Fact about me, when I started my bakery business, The Cake Mamas, I didn't have a ton of support from my fiends and family.

It could be they were "looking out for me" because it "wasn't the right time." (I did start during the middle of the recession!) But, I internalized those feelings of not being supported and interpreted them as them thinking I'm not good enough to make it happen. I was overcome with self-doubt even though I made it look like I was the most confident person; I had ZERO idea what I was doing.

It only took me to open my store front, to be about 5 years into owning my business, winning a few shows on Food Network, that I was like, "Hey, I freaking did THIS and I deserve this!"

And it breaks my heart to know that SO MANY small business owners and women in particular struggle with this feeling of guilt, and undeserving of their accomplishments and success.

So, let's quit this shit and start embracing our place at the table because we do DESERVE to be there.

Now, let's dive into those 4 tips that are gonna help you overcome imposter syndrome...

1. Focus on FACTS not feelings! 

When you start to feel those emotions of self-doubt, worthlessness, and comparison creep up- use those feelings as a trigger to remember all the things you’ve accomplished so far. The key to overcoming these feelings is to focus on the FACTS and the TRUTH. Most of the time those emotions derive from thoughts that aren’t even true. So if you can combat those with FACTS, you’ll find that you can get over these feelings faster. 

When I talk about facts, I’m talking about celebrating ALL THE WINS. Small and Big… 

You got to where you are for reason- remember that!

2. Prepare Yourself! 

If you know you’re gonna be put in an uncomfortable situation, roll with it or leave it. I know I always talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that scare you but in this case you aren’t obligated or REQUIRED to interact with people that make you feel like sh*t. 

And this includes FRIENDS and FAMILY members! 

3, Be authentically you! 

No one is PERFECT, so stop expecting you to be. No matter how put together someone’s life may look on the outside, you have NO IDEA what they’re going through internally. They’re version of success is entirely different from yours. Don’t allow their NY Times Bestseller to impact the way you view your first chapters. The only way you’re gonna feel less than is through your expectations you have for yourself. When you stop placing expectations and timelines on your life and your journey and embrace everything you’ve gone through and have accomplished- you’ll find that you’re so much happier and way farther along. 

So be UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU! That’s where you’ll find the people you’re meant to be surrounded with and the table you’re supposed to sit at. 

4. Share your feelings! 

AKA- CLOSED MOUTHS DON’T GET FED! I say this all the time because so often we silence how we really feel in order to keep the peace and please others. But at what point do you get tired of getting stepped on and staying quiet. I read somewhere from author and nurse, Bonnie Ware, that one of the greatest regrets most people die with is that they wish they would’ve spoken up more often. I hope that you find the courage to say what you need to say in that moment. People aren’t mind readers. If you don’t speak up, advocate yourself, and say how you feel- then people are gonna continue to treat you and speak to you the same way they have because you haven’t made a point to tell them how it makes you feel. When you speak up, you’ll get an answer. It may not be the one you want to hear but it’s an answer nonetheless. So, speak up! 

Overcoming imposter syndrome takes work but it is possible! By acknowledging our feelings, identifying our victories, finding supportive people around us and focusing on what we can control - we can slowly move away from the fear of feeling like a fraud and start having the confidence in ourselves again. I really believe small business owners, moms & women of all ages can really use these tips to help build their confidence & break free from negative thoughts & feelings associated with imposter syndrome. With these tips you can finally feel secure in their abilities and worthy of all the success you’ve achieved!